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Anticipatory Grief: Finding Meaning Before Loss
anticipatory gried
grief
podcast
podcast host
Jan 22, 2025
I never thought I’d be writing about this—at least, not right now. But life has a way of bringing us lessons we didn’t ask for. Last week, we said goodbye to our beloved Bailey, our sweet 16-year-old pup who brought so much joy and unconditional love to our lives. And in the days leading up to his passing, I found myself sitting in a space I didn’t quite have words for—a tender, heavy place between love and loss.
That’s when I learned about anticipatory grief.
Anticipatory grief is the heartache that comes before a loss. It’s what we feel when we know a goodbye is near, whether it’s for a loved one, a pet, or even a chapter of our lives. For me, it was holding Bailey close, savoring every wag of his tail, and simultaneously preparing my heart for the inevitable.
If you’ve ever felt that ache—the kind that comes with knowing what’s ahead but not quite being ready for it—you’re not alone.
What Does Anticipatory Grief Feel Like?
For me, it was a mix of emotions:
- Sadness and Heartache: The weight of what’s coming is so heavy.
- Anxiety and Fear: How will life feel without them?
- Moments of Gratitude: Cherishing the time we have left, like watching Bailey nap in her favorite spot.
- Guilt: Wondering if I was grieving too soon, or if I was doing enough for her.
It’s messy, and that’s okay.
How I’m Moving Through It
I’ve learned that grief, even anticipatory grief, doesn’t need fixing. It needs feeling.
- I named it: Once I understood what I was experiencing, it gave me permission to feel it fully.
- I cherished the time: I focused on being present, snuggling with Bailey, and whispering how much he was loved.
- I leaned on support: Talking to my closest people and even my therapist reminded me I wasn’t alone.
- I moved my body: Gentle walks and grounding exercises helped ease the heaviness in my chest.
The Gift in the Pain
As much as it hurts, anticipatory grief gave me something unexpected: the chance to create deeper meaning in those final days. I got to say goodbye, to reflect, and to honor all the joy Bailey brought into my life.
Grief, I’ve learned, isn’t just about loss—it’s about love.
So, if you’re in this tender space too, be gentle with yourself. Let the emotions come, and remember, it’s love that makes it hurt.
Bailey taught me that.
Want to explore this deeper with me? Check out this week's episode of the Movement, Mind, and Meaning Podcast here on this exact topic