E57: Grief Leave: Navigating Loss with Compassion, Spaciousness, and Self Care
Grief is a profound journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. In this episode, I share my personal experience with "grief leave" and offer tools to help you navigate loss with compassion, presence, and self-care. From understanding the layers of grief to simple practices that soothe the heart and body, this episode is here to support you through tender times.
In the episode we'll explore:
- How a grief leave creates space for deep healing and transformation in this tender time
- Why taking the time to lean into these emotions rather than avoid them brings powerful understanding and appreciation for the life you're living
- Learn a powerful breathing practice to help you self-regulate and hold yourself through the hardest moments.
💌 Don’t forget to download the free Power Pause Pocket Guide for more grounding tools and resources to help you find calm and clarity during difficult times: https://www.megan-nolan.com/pocket
You’re not alone in this journey—let’s navigate it together.
Please find the show notes below. Since it is a transcription there may be spelling errors and/or weird grammar. Ignore that and enjoy!
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Hello and welcome to a movement of people
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who care so much about how they feel that
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they make time for themselves and their
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health every day. I'm a leader of this
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movement and the host of this podcast,
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and my name is Megan Nolan. I am a
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personal trainer, a yoga instructor, a
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mental fitness coach, a best-selling
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author, an award-winning speaker, and I'm
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neurodivergent. So yeah, I got lots going
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on too. But I'm on a mission to help
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you make sure that not only you get to do
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all the big, incredible things that are
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on your heart to do in the world, but you
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also get to actually enjoy your
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life and everything that you've created
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too. And that's what this podcast is all
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about, helping you to do just that. So
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let's jump in to today's episode.
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Hello and welcome back. Today we're
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talking about taking a grief leave.
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Navigating loss through compassion,
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spaciousness and self-care. Welcome to
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this episode of the Movement, Mind and
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Meaning podcast and I'm your host, Megan
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Nolan. So I don't know if I
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officially made it up, but last week
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I came up with a term grief leave
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and I looked it up and there wasn't
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really anything that came through, but I
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uncovered that there is something that is
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traditionally recognized as a bereavement
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leave. And essentially, they mean the
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same thing when you're experiencing the
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grief or the mourning or the sadness
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or the confusion or the void or
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the emptiness that comes after you
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lose someone or something that you love.
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That period of grief
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that needs to be honored, that deserves
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to be tended to, is
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what?I feel is what we're
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doing when we take space for
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ourselves and taking a leave and
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mourning, mourning the loss and
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bereavement is an older word that
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means all of that and actually comes from
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the root is to take away or to
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deprive and so it really
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represents that. You know, when we lose
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someone or something that that's been
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taken away and removed from our life and
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we're we're mourning the absence of that
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person or that being or that
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quality or what relationship or whatever
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it is, right?Because we can grieve many
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things. And I think it's really important
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that we honor the tenderness.
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And when I'm presented this
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on my social media to acknowledge
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that I was taking this. So many
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people were grateful for this recognition
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because The thing is, is that we all
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experience grief, unfortunately, right?If
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we're lucky enough to to love and to
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lose, to live long enough
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to be able to experience this deep
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connection in this love and relationship
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with something. And oftentimes the
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other side of that is to lose that
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right is to have that be taken away.
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Because as much as some people resist
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this, death is a natural part of life and
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andWhether it's death or a change in
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relationship or whatever it is that
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you're grieving, you know, oftentimes
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it's, and in my case it was the loss of
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our pet. So Bailey was our 16 year old
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dog and he had congestive heart disease
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and it was time, you know, and it was a
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compassionate decision. It was a really,
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really hard decision.
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And at the point of recording
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this, it's been a week
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and I'm
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really, I'm navigating it.
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Because the reality is, is that when we
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are tender in the heart space
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and we're navigating what it feels like
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to be in this space of
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fragility and to
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navigate what it feels like to have feel
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like our heart is broken and and
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sad and heavy and still
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navigate life at the same time, that can
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be extremely difficult. Because the one
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thing I've come to realize about grief is
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that the only thing that's predictable
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about it is its unpredictability,
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and how it literally just
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blindsides you out of nowhere, and
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how it's so important for us to
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take the time to hold
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ourself in this tenderness
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and in this feeling
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of. Sadness and loss and
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grief and pain and anger and resentment
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and frustration and and and
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denial and acceptance and all of these
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aspects of the spiral that is grief. And
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it's not a linear process, right?You
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know, and you've likely heard of those
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those stages of grief by Elisabeth
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Kubler-Ross and and she
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reworked that a little bit because people
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were frustrated that they weren't
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naturally progressing through the stages.
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And that's what she uncovered is that
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there's no. Natural, you know, step by
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step of this is that these are things
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that you likely might experience, but not
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necessarily in sequential order and maybe
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sometimes all at the same time. And The
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thing is, is that when we're experiencing
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this tender vulnerability of loss,
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it can be really challenging for us to
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be present to the the natural
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demands and requirements of our
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day-to-day the way that you normally
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would be. Essentially there's
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this. It's almost like emotionally
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we are needing this space to
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heal, like when we have an
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illness, right?Well, like when we're
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sick, it's that energy that we're in.
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When we're in grief, it requires a
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slowing down. It requires a
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gentle tending that isn't
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necessarily going to happen. If we just
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jump right back into life and we try
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to pretend like we're not feeling this
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way and try to just, you know, put on a
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happy face and go about it, which
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for many of us who've had mental health
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challenges is unfortunately something you
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might be capable of doing, right?And so
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this is called masking. It's just putting
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on a happy face and putting on a mask and
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pretending that it's, you know,
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everything's fine and. If you were
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dealing with anxiety or depression, you
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likely are familiar with that, right?You
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just kind of plodding through life or
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making your way through the day when
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you're feeling this way internally and
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you know how conflicted it is. But I feel
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like there's a level that we we can't do
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that at, at least for me. There's a level
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that of emotional intensity that I simply
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cannot pretend that I'm OK. And that to
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me is why the grief leave is so
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important, because it really
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does support us.
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In being present to the
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emotions and
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acknowledging that it is a difficult and
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challenging place to be by slowing
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down and
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really being a witness to the
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spirals of it and how it catches you and
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to use the tools, right. And we're going
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to use a tool in a little bit. We're
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going to take a power pause. I'm going to
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teach you a breathing pattern that's
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really been super helpful for me
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and there's a lot of tools. And a lot of
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it is just allowing yourself to
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witness the feeling and to feel
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into it. And that might seem
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counterproductive because when
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I started to explore this with my
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therapist is that to feel the feeling
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seems terrifying because it's already so
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painful. But the crazy thing is, is that
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when we are just looping in the mind.
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And having the mind tell us all these
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stories and just be in this torment and
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the pain and and acknowledge that. I
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acknowledge that that's very real. But
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when we allow ourselves to settle
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and to be in the feeling, to be in the
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heaviness, to be in it, but be resourced,
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be held in in love and be surrounded
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either, you know, energetically by your
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your seen and unseen team, right?You
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know, your spirit guides or you're just
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surrounded by. By this knowing that you
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know this too will pass, like there's so
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many beautiful ways to to resource
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yourself, to support yourself through
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these moments. And for me that has been
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to just really visualize this
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beautiful, almost
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big, massive healing
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energy in the in the shape of a heart, in
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the shape of of love, of of
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the unending on.
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Deniable presence of the energy
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of the universe, the energy of creation,
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the energy of the divine that is at its
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deepest core love. And that in
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order for us to be able to be
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present with this sadness and this grief
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is an acknowledgement of the love that we
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had for whatever you may or may not have
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lost and. That's really
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what grief is. It's it's the opposite
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side to the depth of which we loved
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someone or something and appreciated it.
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It's the balance, right?It's the yin and
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the yang and the duality. And so it's
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this really interesting thing is to think
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about like when we go into that feeling
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of sadness and we feel the grief and we
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allow ourselves to be in it and we be
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in the feeling of it, but in that place
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of being held by this resource of
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whatever it is of the. The waves of love
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or this feeling, or like the warm blanket
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that's supporting you, the mat, the floor
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that's underneath you, like to be held by
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something or someone, right?If
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you if you have people around you that
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can hold you, it's literally really
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taking you to a place where you can,
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where you can allow
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yourself to feel. Because so much of what
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we do in the mind is is to try to bypass
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the the harder emotions. And not
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feel them to get to the other side. And
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that's where this practice of
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just allowing yourself to be in it and to
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it's a sacred practice in a sense,
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right. And you're allowing yourself to
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feel the emotions because if we're just
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trying to get back to regular life, we
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bypass it and we're not allowing
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ourselves the that beautiful richness
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of this part of the human experience that
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is the opposite to this deep love is
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this grief. And so it's.
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Really holding space for yourself in this
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compassionate way and
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you know there's so many beautiful
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practices and and I think of in the
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Jewish tradition where they sit in Shiva
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and Shiva and they sit together
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and they sit and they are there and they
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are in stillness and they they are in
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that place together and
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it's that nobody knows what to say. So
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you know and and I'm not super familiar
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with the practice so please you know I.
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I'm only going on what little I know, but
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I do know that it is a beautiful, sacred
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container.
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And we all need that.
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We need, we need these
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practices to truly experience these
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feelings. And when it's these
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tighter, contractive emotions, we tend to
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not want to feel them. But grief is such
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a rich, deep
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place and.
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It is, of course it's not comfortable.
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And so really just watching that, you
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know, for me at least I can speak to is
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that at least lately,
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you know, I'm sitting in it allowing
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myself to grieve. I'm having these
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periods of of intentional grieving, right?
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And and during this, this spaciousness
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that I'm giving myself in my life, I'm
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taking these periods throughout the day
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and when they come, you know, as needed
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because they just come when they want to
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come sometimes. But I am taking these
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intentional moments to be in the energy
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of the feeling that I feel and to,
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you know, feel my my heart weeping these
291
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tears of sadness for this absence of this
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beautiful being that was my doggy for so
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many years. And I
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allow that to come and I and it just it
295
00:12:10,809 --> 00:12:12,849
it's rough, right?It's rough and it's
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intense and I'm feeling it and I'm there
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and I'm in it. But then this
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settling comes after. And
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this groundedness comes after
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and this feeling of
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peace comes after because that's what
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00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:30,569
we're looking for, right?And in order for
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00:12:30,569 --> 00:12:33,369
us to get to the other side and to have
304
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that be our reality again is we
305
00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,009
have to go through it. We can't ignore
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it. We can't bypass it. We can't pretend
307
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it's not happening because it won't let
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00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:45,449
you, right?For me, it won't let me. It
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00:12:45,449 --> 00:12:47,089
just comes at me in waves and it just
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keeps coming back because. We haven't
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equalized in this new reality yet. We
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00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,929
haven't recalibrated to this new reality
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where that loved one is not physically
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present anymore, and it takes time for
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00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:02,009
that to happen. And
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navigating these periods with this
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00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:07,369
devotion to your healing
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00:13:08,249 --> 00:13:11,130
is so powerful and that's so intentional
319
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,530
because it's really important to
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00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:16,610
do this and to take the grief leave. And
321
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:19,450
so maybe you're able to. Take some actual
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00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,610
time away from work, you knowAnd
323
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traditionally some employers do have a
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bereavement leave and time for
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00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,330
mourning and time for that spaciousness.
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If you're self-employed like me, you're
327
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,530
the one that needs to make that call,
328
00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:36,890
right?And so this is where this
329
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:39,210
really interesting protective pattern is
330
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:42,170
coming in. And I'm witnessing of OK,
331
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:44,330
I'm taking this grief leave, but what do
332
00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:47,130
I do?And I'm finding this interesting.
333
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,250
Desire to do, you know, and to to
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00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:53,410
to make the most of the time, which is
335
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:56,730
totally counterproductive. But, you know,
336
00:13:57,290 --> 00:13:59,370
I don't need to be productive on my grief
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00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,450
leave. And in fact, that's not really
338
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:03,530
honoring the grief leave. If I feel like
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00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:05,850
I need to. For example, yesterday I was
340
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:08,090
trying to tell myself I should clean
341
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:09,290
under the kitchen sink
342
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,370
because it's something I, you know, have
343
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,890
been thinking about doing for a while.
344
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:18,850
I'm like, really?Am I gonna throw out
345
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:21,210
all cleaning products when I'm in this
346
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:24,090
place?No, noLike, it doesn't need to
347
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,650
be a productive time. And in fact, the
348
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:29,410
slowing down and the spaciousness and
349
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,330
observing that tendency to want to go
350
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,171
back into that protective pattern of
351
00:14:34,171 --> 00:14:36,331
doing and taking action and just getting
352
00:14:36,331 --> 00:14:38,931
through, you know, fast tracking it in a
353
00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:40,971
sense. I'm like, wow, that's crazy.
354
00:14:41,451 --> 00:14:43,451
That's really interesting, you know, of
355
00:14:43,451 --> 00:14:45,251
how this tendency to.
356
00:14:46,731 --> 00:14:49,531
Make, you knowThis tendency
357
00:14:49,531 --> 00:14:52,171
to want to distract myself, which is
358
00:14:52,171 --> 00:14:54,571
normal, but we don't need to distract
359
00:14:54,571 --> 00:14:57,291
ourselves by going back to to
360
00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:59,371
work and just going back into the old
361
00:14:59,371 --> 00:15:01,611
patterns. And the interesting thing I'm
362
00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:03,691
noticing, and this might be something for
363
00:15:03,691 --> 00:15:06,571
you to consider, is that in
364
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:09,371
this moment when it feels like
365
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,411
everything has fallen apart and you don't
366
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,291
recognize the world or the reality that
367
00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:18,011
you're living in because of the loss.
368
00:15:18,411 --> 00:15:20,731
And it feels like everything is in
369
00:15:20,731 --> 00:15:23,371
shambles and everything is just scattered
370
00:15:23,371 --> 00:15:26,131
all over the floor, which is where I feel
371
00:15:26,131 --> 00:15:27,611
like I'm at currently. And
372
00:15:29,451 --> 00:15:30,811
we get to look at
373
00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:34,571
this as an opportunity.
374
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,771
What are you gonna let go of too?Because
375
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,611
you're letting go of this loved one,
376
00:15:39,611 --> 00:15:42,011
right?What patterns in yourself
377
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:45,131
are you willing to let go and to be done
378
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:48,091
with and to allow to fade away and shed?
379
00:15:48,651 --> 00:15:51,371
Because the brain
380
00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:53,531
wants to just go back to the status quo.
381
00:15:53,611 --> 00:15:55,331
And that's why you may find yourself just
382
00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:56,651
wanting to, you know, get back to, get
383
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:58,572
back to it and this and that. And there
384
00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,252
will be a time and you will know when
385
00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:01,852
that's time. But
386
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,452
what are you going to pick up back up off
387
00:16:05,452 --> 00:16:07,852
the floor and bring back into your
388
00:16:07,852 --> 00:16:10,092
reality?That's what you get to decide in
389
00:16:10,092 --> 00:16:12,012
this grief leave and
390
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,052
looking at it from this place of what's
391
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,772
really important, right?Because. death
392
00:16:17,772 --> 00:16:19,532
always gives us this perspective of
393
00:16:19,532 --> 00:16:22,332
what's really important in life and
394
00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:25,172
What you were doing before may not
395
00:16:25,172 --> 00:16:27,692
necessarily Feel like
396
00:16:27,692 --> 00:16:30,612
something you want to continue because
397
00:16:30,612 --> 00:16:32,572
when you go through these powerful
398
00:16:32,572 --> 00:16:34,492
experiences these portals of
399
00:16:34,492 --> 00:16:36,892
transformation of loss of deep loss
400
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,492
You come through the other side as a
401
00:16:39,492 --> 00:16:42,372
different person 1000%
402
00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:45,852
and in this moment of this sort of
403
00:16:47,692 --> 00:16:50,012
Uncertainty and unsteadiness and this
404
00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:51,932
agitation and this discomfort.
405
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,372
It is, of course our mind just wants to
406
00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:56,612
get us through to the other side and not
407
00:16:56,612 --> 00:16:58,532
want to deal with this. But in the
408
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:01,892
discomfort is the
409
00:17:01,932 --> 00:17:04,812
opportunity for transformation. Ram
410
00:17:04,812 --> 00:17:07,292
Dass calls it the sandpaper of
411
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:10,172
suffering. And so it's that
412
00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:13,012
polishing away at these old patterns. And
413
00:17:13,012 --> 00:17:15,652
so as you walk through this. Period in
414
00:17:15,652 --> 00:17:17,452
your life and you take this grief leave,
415
00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:19,132
hopefully in whatever form. And it might
416
00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:21,213
just be taking these moments throughout
417
00:17:21,213 --> 00:17:22,973
the day to really sit in the sacred
418
00:17:22,973 --> 00:17:24,653
practice of grieving and be present with
419
00:17:24,653 --> 00:17:27,453
it intentionally so that
420
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:30,493
it lessens it a little bit gradually. Or
421
00:17:30,493 --> 00:17:32,253
maybe you're able to take some time off.
422
00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,653
It is this sense of
423
00:17:35,853 --> 00:17:38,493
who are you becoming in this process and.
424
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,333
What are you really seeing as valuable
425
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,573
and important?And there's such a
426
00:17:42,573 --> 00:17:44,293
tenderness because you're deep in your
427
00:17:44,293 --> 00:17:46,693
heart space and you're very present. And
428
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:49,293
many indigenous practices and
429
00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:52,253
cultures and traditions suggest that
430
00:17:52,253 --> 00:17:54,013
when someone is in grief, you are far
431
00:17:54,013 --> 00:17:56,253
closer to the spirit realm and you get so
432
00:17:56,253 --> 00:17:58,733
many more insights and so much more
433
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:01,693
guidance. And it's it's a really potent
434
00:18:01,693 --> 00:18:04,573
place to be if you allow yourself
435
00:18:04,573 --> 00:18:06,973
to be there, right?And. And because in
436
00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:08,613
our culture, we're, you know, we kind of
437
00:18:08,613 --> 00:18:10,253
try to want to bypass the negative
438
00:18:10,253 --> 00:18:13,093
emotions. But here in this community, all
439
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,813
of you is welcome. All of all emotions
440
00:18:15,813 --> 00:18:18,093
are valid. And so it's important that we
441
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,973
allow ourselves to sit in this and of
442
00:18:20,973 --> 00:18:22,653
course get support, get support, you
443
00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:23,893
know, reach out to your friends and
444
00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:25,293
family, your loved ones, maybe your
445
00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:26,973
therapist, maybe different modalities,
446
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,453
get support, right as needed, of course.
447
00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:31,933
But really what we're doing here is we're
448
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:34,333
practicing this, this intentional
449
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,773
gentleness. And you
450
00:18:37,773 --> 00:18:40,093
know, what I uncovered with my therapist
451
00:18:40,093 --> 00:18:42,573
was this pattern in my brain that said,
452
00:18:42,813 --> 00:18:44,534
you know, you have to have these big
453
00:18:44,534 --> 00:18:47,214
emotions to to to not be alone in
454
00:18:47,214 --> 00:18:50,094
this or or it's it's
455
00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:52,294
going to be so brutal to go through this
456
00:18:52,294 --> 00:18:53,654
and why would you want to sit in it?It's
457
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,614
just going to be horrible. And that's the
458
00:18:55,614 --> 00:18:58,094
mind keeping us in this
459
00:18:58,094 --> 00:19:00,494
protective pattern. Because when I go
460
00:19:00,494 --> 00:19:02,654
into my heart and do the practice I was
461
00:19:02,654 --> 00:19:05,054
speaking to earlier of. Feeling where I
462
00:19:05,054 --> 00:19:07,854
feel it in my body, holding myself like
463
00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:10,134
I'm wrapping an energetic blanket around
464
00:19:10,134 --> 00:19:12,334
this part of myself, sitting in it,
465
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:15,054
breathing in it. And the peace that
466
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:17,294
comes, and sometimes it
467
00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,494
takes time, it takes breath to get there,
468
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,734
it takes patience. Sometimes it's rather
469
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,694
quick. And I recognize that in the body,
470
00:19:26,174 --> 00:19:28,014
that sense of knowing, that sense of
471
00:19:28,014 --> 00:19:30,734
peace, that sense of deep, deep, deep
472
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,294
love, it's always right there. It's
473
00:19:33,294 --> 00:19:35,654
always available to us and we can just
474
00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:37,934
drop into it and it gets to be gentle
475
00:19:38,974 --> 00:19:41,854
and it's just a different approach.
476
00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:44,654
And it's that that willingness to
477
00:19:44,654 --> 00:19:47,294
navigate the waves, right?And to to
478
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:49,774
tend to ourselves and to turn towards
479
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:51,774
ourselves, that part of ourselves that is
480
00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:54,494
feeling that deep loss. And notice the
481
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,574
part that's the mind that's like, why
482
00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:57,934
would you do that?You can't do this, you
483
00:19:57,934 --> 00:19:59,214
know, and like, don't go into that dark
484
00:19:59,214 --> 00:20:00,974
place. And and of course there's this
485
00:20:00,974 --> 00:20:03,134
balance, right?Especially if we are prone
486
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:04,974
to that slippery slope of sadness. But
487
00:20:04,974 --> 00:20:07,535
it's it's just that acknowledgement of
488
00:20:07,535 --> 00:20:09,455
this part of you that deserves to be
489
00:20:09,455 --> 00:20:11,775
witnessed. So one of the
490
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,015
tools that I've been using
491
00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:16,535
and that I would love to share with you
492
00:20:16,535 --> 00:20:19,175
now is the
493
00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:22,495
breath of release. Learning how to
494
00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:24,735
release tension and stress from your body
495
00:20:25,295 --> 00:20:27,295
through the breath. So we're gonna take a
496
00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:28,855
power pause. I'm gonna teach you how to
497
00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:31,775
do this now. And I would love
498
00:20:31,775 --> 00:20:34,215
for you to place your hands, one on your
499
00:20:34,215 --> 00:20:36,935
belly, one on your heart. So this is the
500
00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:40,655
physiological sigh. And you may be
501
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,495
in these moments here when you've been
502
00:20:42,495 --> 00:20:44,255
experiencing grief and sadness and
503
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:46,015
heaviness, you might have heard yourself
504
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,215
make this same sound, that ah
505
00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:51,415
And you kind of, you know that sort of
506
00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:54,255
shuddery breath that happens after we
507
00:20:54,255 --> 00:20:56,335
cry. It's actually a reset for the
508
00:20:56,335 --> 00:20:58,815
nervous system that you are doing
509
00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:01,935
instinctively. So when we use this
510
00:21:01,935 --> 00:21:03,535
breath of release, you're doing it
511
00:21:03,535 --> 00:21:06,295
actively to achieve the same calming and
512
00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:08,615
regulating impact on your nervous system.
513
00:21:09,055 --> 00:21:10,855
So it's a two-part inhale. We fill the
514
00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:13,455
lungs once and then right to the top on
515
00:21:13,455 --> 00:21:15,935
the second inhale and then on the exhale
516
00:21:15,935 --> 00:21:18,895
we. Settle and sink
517
00:21:18,895 --> 00:21:20,775
and ground yourself. So we try it
518
00:21:20,775 --> 00:21:21,615
together. Ready.
519
00:21:24,095 --> 00:21:25,295
So two-part inhale.
520
00:21:27,855 --> 00:21:29,215
You can hear the two parts.
521
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:32,336
Try.
522
00:21:39,456 --> 00:21:40,336
Now do it slower.
523
00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:45,536
Longer on the exhale.
524
00:21:49,856 --> 00:21:50,576
With sound,
525
00:21:59,226 --> 00:21:59,946
keep going,
526
00:22:03,466 --> 00:22:05,306
keep going. Feel the shift happening.
527
00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:14,186
One more time.
528
00:22:19,786 --> 00:22:20,586
Breathe normally.
529
00:22:29,296 --> 00:22:31,056
So what we're doing in that breath, the
530
00:22:31,056 --> 00:22:32,896
breath of release, this beautiful power
531
00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:35,576
pause, is giving yourself the
532
00:22:35,616 --> 00:22:38,496
opportunity to quiet
533
00:22:38,496 --> 00:22:40,256
and regulate your nervous system. By
534
00:22:40,656 --> 00:22:43,576
intentionally slowing down the
535
00:22:43,576 --> 00:22:45,376
breath, we activate the vagus nerve. We
536
00:22:45,376 --> 00:22:47,176
turn on the parasympathetic nervous
537
00:22:47,176 --> 00:22:50,056
system. We shift you into a place of rest
538
00:22:50,056 --> 00:22:51,856
and digest. We're slowing everything
539
00:22:51,856 --> 00:22:54,697
down. We are increasing the
540
00:22:54,737 --> 00:22:57,617
oxygenation of your body as well
541
00:22:57,617 --> 00:23:00,497
as releasing more carbon dioxide. So
542
00:23:00,497 --> 00:23:02,657
we're stimulating a balance in the breath
543
00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:04,737
that way in the nervous system as well.
544
00:23:05,137 --> 00:23:07,697
And what it does is it mimics that
545
00:23:07,697 --> 00:23:09,777
natural reset that comes
546
00:23:10,017 --> 00:23:11,537
after we.
547
00:23:12,737 --> 00:23:15,617
That that side that happens. And so
548
00:23:15,937 --> 00:23:17,697
it's such a powerful way. And we're also
549
00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,817
expanding the lung capacity, which is so
550
00:23:19,817 --> 00:23:22,257
important. We're expanding your capacity
551
00:23:22,257 --> 00:23:24,897
to hold space for this
552
00:23:25,057 --> 00:23:27,977
in your body, right, but also in your
553
00:23:27,977 --> 00:23:30,657
nervous system to hold space in this
554
00:23:30,657 --> 00:23:33,617
way of. This challenging emotional
555
00:23:33,617 --> 00:23:36,097
state that is a natural part of our human
556
00:23:36,097 --> 00:23:38,297
experience. So this is the impact of a
557
00:23:38,297 --> 00:23:41,057
power pause. And so right now this
558
00:23:41,057 --> 00:23:42,817
what we did just here is if you're
559
00:23:42,817 --> 00:23:44,497
watching this on its own as a video on
560
00:23:44,497 --> 00:23:46,977
YouTube, is part of this full experience
561
00:23:46,977 --> 00:23:49,737
inside this episode of the
562
00:23:49,737 --> 00:23:51,697
Movement, Mind and Meaning podcast on a
563
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,257
taking a grief leave. And if you want to
564
00:23:54,257 --> 00:23:56,057
watch the video and see what I did, you
565
00:23:56,057 --> 00:23:58,857
can go over and watch it on YouTube. So I
566
00:23:58,857 --> 00:24:00,577
would love to share this tool with you
567
00:24:00,577 --> 00:24:02,897
because it's been so impactful for me and
568
00:24:02,897 --> 00:24:05,777
power pauses are really an incredible
569
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:08,737
way to tend to your body, to shift your
570
00:24:08,737 --> 00:24:10,897
inner state. So there is a free resource
571
00:24:10,897 --> 00:24:13,457
in the description below on the Power
572
00:24:13,457 --> 00:24:15,777
pause pocket guide that you can grab. So
573
00:24:17,298 --> 00:24:20,258
I would love to really just wrap
574
00:24:20,338 --> 00:24:23,138
up this episode on taking a
575
00:24:23,138 --> 00:24:25,778
grief leave of really
576
00:24:25,778 --> 00:24:28,418
honoring. The lessons
577
00:24:28,658 --> 00:24:31,298
that grief
578
00:24:31,378 --> 00:24:33,578
brings, right?It brings a deep
579
00:24:33,578 --> 00:24:35,978
perspective, a recognition, a
580
00:24:35,978 --> 00:24:38,578
love and you know it is an
581
00:24:38,578 --> 00:24:41,458
opportunity for us to to slow
582
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:44,338
down and to practice deep, deep
583
00:24:44,338 --> 00:24:47,138
compassionate self-care and power pausing
584
00:24:47,138 --> 00:24:49,538
and listening to this and doing what
585
00:24:49,538 --> 00:24:51,858
feels good for you to tend to yourself
586
00:24:51,898 --> 00:24:53,618
and and for me over.
587
00:24:54,738 --> 00:24:56,818
This period of taking this grief leave
588
00:24:56,818 --> 00:24:58,818
is, you know, not strict,
589
00:24:59,538 --> 00:25:02,258
but a regimen of
590
00:25:02,658 --> 00:25:05,458
baths and naps and more
591
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:08,018
yoga and more meditation and a lot more
592
00:25:08,018 --> 00:25:10,338
journaling and a lot more writing has
593
00:25:10,338 --> 00:25:12,098
been really helpful for me,
594
00:25:13,858 --> 00:25:15,938
you know, and and allowing the emotions
595
00:25:15,938 --> 00:25:17,498
to come when they come. But taking these
596
00:25:17,498 --> 00:25:20,098
secret, sacred moments of devotion to the
597
00:25:20,098 --> 00:25:21,938
love that I had for Bailey and I still
598
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:24,418
have and. Really sensing into his
599
00:25:24,418 --> 00:25:27,298
presence. Because The thing is, is that
600
00:25:27,538 --> 00:25:29,578
death is part of this whole life human
601
00:25:29,578 --> 00:25:31,218
experience and this life experience, and
602
00:25:31,218 --> 00:25:34,138
that there's this energetic shift.
603
00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:35,498
Although we can't see them in the
604
00:25:35,498 --> 00:25:38,058
physical form, their spirit is still very
605
00:25:38,058 --> 00:25:40,379
much present with you and within you. And
606
00:25:40,379 --> 00:25:43,019
so it's really allowing yourself to
607
00:25:43,939 --> 00:25:46,739
keep your heart open while
608
00:25:46,899 --> 00:25:49,859
it feels maybe like it's broken,
609
00:25:50,099 --> 00:25:51,059
right?And that might seem
610
00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:53,859
counterintuitive. But what's happening
611
00:25:53,859 --> 00:25:55,899
here is that when we allow ourselves to
612
00:25:55,899 --> 00:25:58,179
deeply feel these emotions in a safe way,
613
00:25:58,179 --> 00:26:00,259
whatever you have the capacity for,
614
00:26:00,979 --> 00:26:03,459
is it allows that, you know, that
615
00:26:03,539 --> 00:26:05,939
crack and that void and that brokenness
616
00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,539
that we might feel like when we feel
617
00:26:07,539 --> 00:26:10,179
heartbreak, it allows us to
618
00:26:10,579 --> 00:26:13,299
widen and increase our capacity to feel.
619
00:26:14,659 --> 00:26:17,099
And in that space that has been
620
00:26:17,099 --> 00:26:19,979
created, you get to decide what you're
621
00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:21,779
gonna fill it with. Are you going to fill
622
00:26:21,779 --> 00:26:23,619
it with spaciousness and compassion and
623
00:26:23,619 --> 00:26:24,819
love and care
624
00:26:26,499 --> 00:26:28,859
and allow that deep love and
625
00:26:28,859 --> 00:26:30,819
appreciation that you had for this being
626
00:26:30,819 --> 00:26:33,459
or person or whatever you might have
627
00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:36,219
lost to be able to
628
00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:39,619
shift who you are at a deep level?Because
629
00:26:39,619 --> 00:26:41,299
that relationship has changed you and
630
00:26:41,299 --> 00:26:42,899
your experience of this part of the
631
00:26:42,899 --> 00:26:45,459
relationship will transform you as well
632
00:26:45,459 --> 00:26:47,099
if you allow it to become a sacred
633
00:26:47,099 --> 00:26:49,139
practice. And really that's what this is
634
00:26:49,139 --> 00:26:51,779
doing is. Is it's giving this a
635
00:26:51,779 --> 00:26:53,979
sacred respect and a reverence and that's
636
00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:56,099
ultimately what a bereavement leave is or
637
00:26:56,099 --> 00:26:58,259
any sort of grieving practice is it's a
638
00:26:58,259 --> 00:27:00,259
reverence and an appreciation and a love.
639
00:27:00,899 --> 00:27:03,540
So I am
640
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,860
sending you my love, my heart's
641
00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:07,940
compassion if you are experiencing
642
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:10,580
similar emotions right now and really
643
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:13,460
just honoring you and know that it's
644
00:27:13,460 --> 00:27:15,940
OK. To feel the way you feel and it's
645
00:27:15,940 --> 00:27:18,220
important to love and support and hold
646
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:20,340
yourself in these moments because
647
00:27:22,260 --> 00:27:24,980
it's part of life, right?And it's not our
648
00:27:24,980 --> 00:27:27,660
favorite part of life sometimes or
649
00:27:27,660 --> 00:27:29,700
anytime probably, but
650
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:32,980
it's something that we deal with and it
651
00:27:33,060 --> 00:27:35,380
just like anything can become a practice
652
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:38,500
and it's it's the way that we.
653
00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:41,780
We feel it and we go through it. That
654
00:27:41,780 --> 00:27:43,780
shapes our experience of it and it shapes
655
00:27:43,780 --> 00:27:46,100
who we become on the other side of the
656
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:48,900
experience. And we have a tendency to
657
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,700
bypass these, you know, oh, be
658
00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:54,620
strong, just get through it. How
659
00:27:54,620 --> 00:27:56,580
does that feel?To me, that feels like a
660
00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:58,420
hard no, because I just can't. I don't
661
00:27:58,420 --> 00:28:00,140
want to. I don't want to. It doesn't feel
662
00:28:00,140 --> 00:28:02,020
like it's honoring the feelings that I
663
00:28:02,020 --> 00:28:04,580
felt. So allow yourself to feel this and
664
00:28:04,580 --> 00:28:06,260
give yourself the time and the space and
665
00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:08,420
the grace and. And navigate it gently.
666
00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:11,060
And so that's everything that I have for
667
00:28:11,060 --> 00:28:12,940
you today. I would offer to
668
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:15,780
invite you to check out the Power Pause
669
00:28:15,780 --> 00:28:17,380
Pocket guide, which is linked up in the
670
00:28:17,380 --> 00:28:19,900
description below as a tool, right?As a
671
00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:22,060
tool to help you to navigate through
672
00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:24,420
these moments and to give yourself what
673
00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:26,581
you need. And both in the moment of
674
00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:28,501
grief, but also in other moments of life,
675
00:28:28,501 --> 00:28:29,861
maybe when you're feeling stress or
676
00:28:29,861 --> 00:28:32,421
anxiety or worry or sadness, the tools
677
00:28:32,421 --> 00:28:34,661
are very versatile and so can be used in
678
00:28:34,661 --> 00:28:36,821
a variety of different ways and settings.
679
00:28:37,221 --> 00:28:40,141
So that is what I have for you
680
00:28:40,261 --> 00:28:42,381
this week. Sending you so much love and
681
00:28:42,381 --> 00:28:45,301
Aloha and I will hear
682
00:28:45,341 --> 00:28:47,861
and see you next week. And until then,
683
00:28:47,941 --> 00:28:49,741
take good care of yourself from my tender
684
00:28:49,741 --> 00:28:51,541
heart to yours. Sending you so much love.
685
00:28:51,861 --> 00:28:54,741
Bye bye. Thank you so much
686
00:28:54,741 --> 00:28:56,741
for listening. I hope you really enjoyed
687
00:28:56,741 --> 00:28:59,061
this episode and got a lot out of it.
688
00:28:59,541 --> 00:29:02,181
Please let me know what landed for you by
689
00:29:02,181 --> 00:29:03,861
taking a screenshot and sharing your
690
00:29:03,861 --> 00:29:06,501
takeaways on your Instagram Stories. Make
691
00:29:06,501 --> 00:29:07,301
sure to tag me
692
00:29:08,101 --> 00:29:10,981
@IamMeganNolan for a shout out and future
693
00:29:11,021 --> 00:29:13,381
episodes. And don't
694
00:29:13,381 --> 00:29:15,661
forget to grab all the goodies that we
695
00:29:15,661 --> 00:29:17,621
mentioned during the episode because
696
00:29:17,621 --> 00:29:19,981
you're gonna love them. So all the links
697
00:29:19,981 --> 00:29:22,581
are in the show notes. So until
698
00:29:22,581 --> 00:29:25,461
next time, cheers to you living on
699
00:29:25,461 --> 00:29:26,581
purpose every day.
